Then come the tremors and shaking, the hyper-sensitivity to light and sound, the racing thoughts, the extreme tension in my muscles, the vomiting that keeps me lying on the bathroom floor, the feeling of just wanting to tear my own skin off because I am so damn uncomfortable in every way imaginable.
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Three poems I wrote over a year and a half ago when I was living in NYC, and I first started struggling with my current major depressive episode
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They don’t care whether they come knocking at the most inopportune times, or when I’m already feeling vulnerable and insecure. If anything, they see those times as an opening to slip in, undetected, before they start wreaking havoc on my life.
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As I stand with my feet at the edge of the Bosphorus, I take a deep breath of fresh air that’s flowing off of the water, and if only for a brief moment, everything is ok.
Miki
Any sanity I feel I have left is fading day-by-day, as the monotony, tediousness, and utter exhaustion tear away at every fiber of my very being.
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Some people think of an anchor as something that ties you down, but I prefer to think of it as something that helps you weather the stormy seas. It grounds you through the wind, the rain, and the waves. Your ship may toss around in the sea, but you know you’ll make it through the storm.…
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We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.
Charles Bukowski
