İstanbul is a beautiful fucking city. Abundant historical sites, beautiful old architecture that changes from neighborhood to neighborhood, the Bosphorus, spectacular views, lots of cats, and color, color, color everywhere.Read More
I know I want to live, yet my depression often tells me otherwise. It’s almost as if there’s two completely different people inside of me.Read More
i light another cig.
the brief flicker of my lighter
often feels like the
only light in the dark.
and as i stepped outside the sun was shining on my face i put my hand up like a shade while my eyes adjusted to the light for i had spent so much time in the dark the light seemed too bright, blinding it felt surreal, as if it weren’t happening slowly, i was able…Read More
just a little longer until i
the sun on my
Heart beat, stay heavy
Love us all please, stay on your feet
For me, for me
Stay on your feet
For me, for me
Stay on your feet for me
Life is… it’s like a mountain I have to climb.
Happiness is at the
Hopelessness is at the
Then come the tremors and shaking, the hyper-sensitivity to light and sound, the racing thoughts, the extreme tension in my muscles, the vomiting that keeps me lying on the bathroom floor, the feeling of just wanting to tear my own skin off because I am so damn uncomfortable in every way imaginable.Read More
Three poems I wrote over a year and a half ago when I was living in NYC, and I first started struggling with my current major depressive episodeRead More
They don’t care whether they come knocking at the most inopportune times, or when I’m already feeling vulnerable and insecure. If anything, they see those times as an opening to slip in, undetected, before they start wreaking havoc on my life.Read More
As I stand with my feet at the edge of the Bosphorus, I take a deep breath of fresh air that’s flowing off of the water, and if only for a brief moment, everything is ok.
Any sanity I feel I have left is fading day-by-day, as the monotony, tediousness, and utter exhaustion tear away at every fiber of my very being.Read More
Palm trees, piña coladas, and romance.Read More